Big Wheels, Flat Tires and Alpha Chi's

 

And they said, We saw certainly that the Lord was with thee:

and we said, Let there be now an oath betwixt us,

even betwixt us and thee,

and let us make a covenant with thee . . .

thou art now the blessed of the Lord.

— Genesis 26:28, 29b

             

            When I rode my dinosaur to college, I pledged a sorority, Kappa Kappa Gamma. Besides having the funniest skit during Rush Week, it was the house where I most felt I could be myself. Those were some of the happiest days of my life, and those friendships are among my most precious. I just love the colors light blue and dark blue, and the symbols - the owl, the key, and the fleur-de-lis - from my Kappa days.

 

            As soon as I started having daughters, I started plotting. Naturally, if something blesses you, you think it'll bless your kids. So I sang my old Kappa songs to them as lullabies, imprinting KKG into their DNA.

 

            And when they went off to college, yeah, you bet, I hoped they'd pledge KKG.

 

            Hah!

 

            The first one didn't even go through rush.

 

            The second one pledged Alpha Chi Omega.

 

            So when the THIRD one came up to bat, I wakened up the echoes. Sisters within the bonds! Let's pledge one for the Gipper!

 

            Several Kappa friends wrote letters for Eden, recommending her for membership. Rush Week began. I prayed:

 

            Oh, Lord, let Eden match up with the best house for her.

 

            Although I didn't SAY so, I thought that would be KKG.

 

            But He KNEW that. Didn't they have the nicest, prettiest, smartest girls? Weren't they the B.M.O.C.'s (Big Mamas On Campus)? Didn't they have the coziest-looking house, the best-looking alums . . . er . . . that is. . . .

 

            "Oh, Mom," Eden exulted on the phone. "I know which one I want! I felt I could be MYSELF there! They had the FUNNIEST SKIT!!!"

 

            My buttons were popping off my chest.

 

            "I want to be . . . an ALPHA CHI OMEGA!!!!!!"

 

            You know the sound the Macy's Parade balloons make, when they pull the plugs on them when it's all over? That would be me. Sssssssssssssss. . . .

 

            "Oh, Honey, that's WON-derful," I lied. "I'm so HAPPY for you!"

 

            I hung up. That was her sister Neely's choice. Great house.

 

            But dang! Another non-KKG!?! My face fell into Richard Nixon's black Watergate scowl.

 

            I slunk to the car to run an errand.

 

            Geez, Lord. One little thing I asked! Didn't You HEAR me? I've been good! I haven't stolen, murdered or worshipped any idols all week. Except . . . of course . . . for idolizing Kappa Kappa Gamma.

 

            Gulp.

 

            Ohhhhhh.

 

            Well. . . .

 

            I sped up on the Interstate, still brooding.

 

            We only know ONE other family with a daughter in A Chi O!

 

            What's up with THAT, Lord?!?

 

            What are You THINKING, putting her with all those STRANGERS?!?

 

            I took the exit ramp off the Interstate and stopped at the light. A white SUV practically rear-ended me, then whipped over to the side. I gave the driver a Raised-Eyebrow Maniac Assessment Stare.

 

            He pointed frantically:

 

            "DID YOU KNOW YOUR RIGHT REAR TIRE IS COMPLETELY FLAT?!?!?!?"

 

            Hunhhh? My jaw dropped.

 

            "Is that YOU, Greg?!?!"

 

            It was the only other parent of an Alpha Chi Omega that I knew in the entire state . . . in the country . . in the universe!!! He was a terrific guy, a customer of my husband's, very successful in every facet of life. And here he was, like a brother, looking out for me, offering to help in my moment of dire need, since when it comes to the technical side of life, I am Severely Automotively Impaired.

 

            I was more amazed by his timely appearance, given what I had JUST been thinking about, than by the Tire Pudding under my right rear wheel.

 

            Graciously, Greg led me to the nearest fix-it shop. As I flopped along behind him, I got a little teary-eyed.

 

            Lord, of course You know better than I do what's best for Eden. Thank you for allowing the flat tire and sending Greg to make that point so clear. A Chi O families rock! I'm sorry I got so pumped up with pride that I forgot to trust You!

 

            Greg left. The spare went on fine. I got back on the road, smiling now. But ever the schemer, my mind wandered back to my last chance for a mini-me:

           

            Only 11 more years 'til Maddy goes through Rush. One more chance for KKG! If that's how God's going to bless her, I might as well help! Wonder if the paint store sells light blue and dark blue wallpa0per with a pattern of owls, keys and fleur-de-lis. . . .  †