Osama Bin Llama

 

Fret not thyself because of evil men,

neither be thou envious at the wicked;

For there shall be no reward to the evil man;

The candle of the wicked shall be put out.

My son, fear thou the Lord and the king:

And meddle not with them that are given to change:

For their calamity shall rise suddenly;

And who knoweth the ruin of them both?

                                                                                    -- Proverbs 24:19-22

 

The recent Presidential elections didn't go my way at all. Barfaroni! But at bedtime, my Bible fell open to Micah 6: perfect wisdom, perfectly-timed. Corruption and deceit have stained Washington, D.C., and people, especially poor people, were hurting. God just had to pick up the United States like a giant Etch-a-Sketch, turn us upside down, and shake us.

 

Now we'll have a new group in charge. Let's see what they can do. And if, as a lot of people suspect, they wind up making things worse for freedom, not better, we can always cling to the saga of Osama Bin Llama.

 

I know it's wacky. But bear with me:

 

See, we have this flamboyant friend Steve who lives on an acreage outside Kansas City. His ever-growing menagerie includes a few llamas, those distinctive South American creatures. They're great livestock guardians. He has some cattle he needed them to babysit.

 

He had just bought a couple new llamas when one of them somehow jumped the fence and literally headed for the hills. It was thought that the llama was hiding several miles away in a deserted quarry area that stretches out a few thousand acres.

 

Crafty critter! Nobody could find it, though they looked high and low, searching in trucks, on horseback and with ATV's.

 

So Steve dubbed the wayward animal "Osama Bin Llama."

 

 

 

He should have named it "Osamette." Because a few months later, someone spotted the llama . . . with a baby! The llama must've been pregnant when Steve bought her.

 

Then a neighboring sod farm complained that the pair of renegades were coming onto their property, eating their sod, and high-tailing it back to take refuge in the isolated quarry. The local newspaper made it Page One news. The sheriff got involved.

 

So Steve redoubled his efforts, even employing a former Kansas state high-school rodeo champion. But getting a lasso around those skinny necks proved too tough. The llamas were just too fast!

 

He turned to a friend's nephew, who grew up in Africa and was skilled at blow darts. They located the mama llama and raced behind her on a four-wheeler. The young man blew a tranquilizer dart right into the llama's rump. Everyone rejoiced . . . only the dart wobbled and fell off. It didn't stick! The fur on a llama is just too thick! Once again, they got away.

 

To this day, the llama-on-the-lam and her son are roaming free. And there's not a darn thing anyone can do to stop them.

 

So here's how the llama drama connects to our recent election:

 

We, the God-fearing, liberty-loving American people, are like that llama. The left-wing, socialistic, government-is-the-answer politicians and their operatives are like the posse, who used every trick in the book but still couldn't catch her.

 

No matter how bad things seem to get in the coming years - no matter how hard the other side tries to take away our freedoms and put us in the cage known as socialism - we can use our God-given gifts to stay free.

 

Instead of speed, smarts and thick fur to repel the darts of the bad guys, we have reason, the lessons of history, and, most of all, the Word of God to communicate truth, rebut false claims, and point the way to freedom.

 

Those will beat the oppressors, every time.

 

Look: God says over and over in His Word that we are not to sweat it when the bad guys seem to be winning. In the long run, they lose.

 

In the meantime, He'll protect us. Game over, as it's BEEN over since Resurrection Sunday.

 

Notice that a llama is a livestock guardian. In the Bible, they call that a "shepherd."

 

That's a rather multicultural way to look at Jesus: as a llama?!? But that's Who He is . . . the Good Shepherd . . . protecting us and keeping us free . . . helping us outwit and outrun those who seek to harm us and destroy freedom . . . and He won't let the bad guys prevail for long. †