Being 'Transferred'?
Don't Give Up
(F)or thou art with
me;
thy rod and thy staff
they comfort me.
— Psalm 23:4b
Our daughter had a kindergarten teacher
who loved giving us parents a glimpse into her classroom and the
always-fascinating world of the young child.
She knew that a good vocabulary is important,
so she tried to teach them a new "two-bit word" every day.
One day, one of the children used
the word "transferred." The teacher jumped on it. "'Transferred'! That's a good
word! Does anybody know what the word 'transferred' means?"
"Oh, yeah!" a little boy blurted
out. "My dad just got transferred! My mom made him move into an apartment!"
TRAAAAAAAANSFERRED!!! What a way to
put it!
But the more I see people shoved
through the meat grinder of marital separation and divorce, the more I see that
it really is about transference, in a negative sense.
Someone moves away from God and
those vows they took standing before His altar. Someone transfers his or her
allegiance away from the person God gave them in marriage. Someone takes steps
or, in many cases, giant leaps away from a lifestyle that is within God's will,
to one that decidedly is not. All those transfers . . . and the marriage is
broken.
It often leaves the rejected spouse
wondering if God has transferred His affections and companionship elsewhere,
too.
Somehow, in all the emotional
"noise" of a divorce, God's voice gets lost in the din. It can feel as if God
is distant from you, unreachable through a dense fog. You pray for God to bring
the spouse back; it doesn't happen. Even if you can get it together enough to
eke out a coherent prayer, all you seem to get in return is silence.
Maybe God is ashamed of you. Maybe
He doesn't want to micromanage your life and tell you flat out what to do,
though you beg. Maybe He is angry that you are damaging the kids or wasting His
resources. Maybe you left something undone, some persuasive thing unsaid, that
could have brought your spouse back.
Or maybe God has left you, too.
During this time of immense
depression, disappointment and exhaustion, it's devastating to think that you're
totally alone.
Does God ever separate from us?
Transfer His love? Get divorced?
Isn't He supposed to be Immanuel -
"God With Us"? Isn't He supposed to be right beside us, every step of the way?
How can He let us go through such a difficult trial as divorce?
I don't think we find out for sure
'til we clock in, up yonder. In the meantime, I cling to stories like this one:
She was fresh off a painful divorce,
and trying hard to keep a stiff upper lip because of the children. But it was a
battle. A few good friends and her weekly women's Bible study were her main lifelines.
One night, she was in turmoil and
tears. Money problems were mounting. The kids were acting out. Her life was a
mess. She had had it. She just snapped:
"I don't need this any more, God!"
she raged. "I can't do this any more! I give up!"
She was determined to quit the Bible
study to gain a little more free time to cope with her stress. She went the
next morning, planning to tell her beloved teacher after the session.
But the teacher opened the class by
saying this:
"Ladies, in prayer this morning, I
got a word from the Lord for someone here. I don't know who. But here it is:
"'DON'T GIVE UP!'"
The ex-wife's mouth dropped open.
The tears started.
"You're there after all, aren't you,
God? You're been there for me all along. And you always will be."
She felt herself leaning in to Him.
Suddenly, she could breathe again. She could keep going.
That was years ago. She's fine, now.
Life is good. She says she learned this lesson:
When everything around you is changing,
and things are scary and confusing, it's time for you to "get transferred." All
you have to do is transfer your cares onto the Shoulders of the One Who walks
beside you . . . every step of the way. †
