Arctic Aloha

 

And if a stranger*** sojourn with thee in your land,

ye shall not vex him.

But the stranger that dwelleth with you

shall be unto you as one born among you,

and thou shalt love him as thyself;

for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt:

I am the Lord your God.

                                    -- Leviticus 19:33,34

           

Having our first President who grew up in Hawaii - surely an unusual background in Washington, D.C. -- reminds me of one of the wackiest stories to come out of the northern Minnesota community where we used to have a cabin. We can only hope President Obama's foray as a stranger in a strange land comes out better than this:

 

There was this Polynesian guy who had lived in the beautiful, tropical paradise of the Hawaiian islands all his life. But he had a hankering to try a completely different environment and lifestyle for a year, just for bragging rights.

 

He looked on a U.S. map. Where would be the complete opposite of Hawaii?

 

His eyes fell on International Falls, Minn. - "The Nation's Icebox" - and the gorgeous lake country to the east of it, near the Canadian border.

 

So that's where he moved, one summer, hauling all his Hawaiian shirts and gear with him. He made more than a little splash among the stoic blond descendants of the Finnish, Norwegian and German immigrants who settled that land long ago.

 

He was . . . in the popular Minnesota superlative used for every occasion . . . different!

 

It was "Hang Ten Meets Sure, You Betcha." A multicultural masterpiece! Everyone loved the unusual combination, especially the Hawaiian guy.

 

When the fall came crashing in, it started to get seriously cold. They started discussing mukluks and insulated snow gear. The Hawaiian listened up. He knew he had a lot to learn about survival in the North Woods winter.

 

            Soon came the first big snow. The forests were glistening with a beauty unlike anything the Hawaiian had ever seen. A group of guys were going to go snowmobiling. They thought he was readyb for that particular North Woods adventure. Would he like to come?

 

            Would he?!?!? Oh, yeahhhhh!!!!!

 

            They lent him a snowmobile, a helmet, a snowsuit and boots, and after a short lesson on how to run the machine, he gave them the Hawaiian "OK" symbol - thumb and pinkie extended. And off they all roared.

 

            Well, they shot up high hills and blasted powder left and right, and down deep valleys, leaving a fabulous white wake. He was having the time of his life. Wait 'til they heard about THIS back in Honolulu! There was NOTHING like THIS back home! Faster than surfing, a lot easier than paddling an outrigger. . . .

 

            Suddenly, though, the lakeside trail zoomed up a steep incline and took a sharp right turn. The others were out ahead of him, so they didn't see his snowmobile miss the turn . . .

 

            . . . and shoot straight out, over the lake . . .

 

            . . . and plunge - CRACK!!! -- right through the thin ice into the frigid black water of the nearly-frozen lake!

 

            His snowmobile quickly sank.

 

            His snowsuit and boots started filling up with water immediately. They were becoming heavy, and threatening to pull him under.

 

            What could he do?

 

            Just then, he noticed what looked like a dock, a few dozen feet down the shoreline. One thing a Hawaiian guy can do is swim. So he crashed through the thin, sharp ice and swam for his life - literally. Using his last ounce of energy, he reached the dock and pulled himself up on it.

 

PLOP!

 

His drenched snowsuit literally froze to the dock. He was out of the water . . . but he couldn't move!

 

            At least he wouldn't slip back in. And at least he was alive. Who knew? He did exactly the right thing in that totally unfamiliar, unexpected situation.

 

His Minnesota friends, sick at heart about the accident, rushed back to rescue him and got him to warmth and safety.

 

            He did lose two toes to frostbite. That's the bad news.

 

            The GOOD news is, he had an adventure story that couldn't be beat on the beach . . . which is where he moved back to, just as soon as he could.

 

            Guess the North Woods didn't do the best . . . excuse the expression . . . snow job on the Hawaiian.

 

But whenever he drops ice into his mai tai, relaxing on the warm, sunny beach, he thinks of his friends back in that polar opposite climate . . . and the day he almost became a human Hawaiian ice cube. †

 

 

*** Note: a little Bible study on the actual meaning of the words in the Bible verse used in this story reveals that it is incorrect to use Leviticus 19:33,34 to try to justify amnesty for the millions of illegal aliens who have flooded the United States. People have been trying to do that, but they are wrong.

Since illegal aliens are lawbreakers, they do not qualify for the kind and equal treatment that we are commanded to give "strangers" in those Bible verses. That's because of the definition of the Hebrew word for "strangers" chosen for this passage.

The word translated in English as "stranger" used in Lev. 19 is the Hebrew word "geyr," or guest -- by implication an INVITED guest. This "stranger" is implied to be a foreigner in the sense of being a TEMPORARY resident, who holds to the same code of conduct and follows the same laws as citizens - like the Hawaiian guy in this story who went to live among the North Woods residents.

Since illegal aliens skirt our immigration laws, don't pay taxes, and otherwise break our laws, they can't be considered welcome, invited guests and temporary visitors the same as the "stranger" in that Bible passage.

There are several other words in the Bible which refer to "strangers" or "aliens" in a negative way, such as "nokriy" in the sense of an unfriendly foreigner or an adulterer who has been thrown out of the town as punishment, or "nekar" in the sense of a heathen. Those words are closer to the definition of an illegal alien in our society. Since they weren't chosen for the Leviticus passage, it's an important distinction.

In no way does the Bible say that it is OK to hurt illegal aliens in any way. It just clarifies that "strangers" and "aliens" come in all different forms, we are to consider their behavior carefully before we apply Biblical wisdom to our response to them, and it is Biblically Correct to advocate deportation and other strict responses to the illegal alien problem in our country.