This Little Light of
Mine
Let your light
so shine before men,
that they may see your
good works,
and glorify your
Father which is in heaven.
— Matthew 5:16
While OTHER people my age were doing
diagnoses and diagrams, I was doing diapers.
While THEY were reading legal briefs
and X-rays, I was reading Dr. Seuss and Good
Night, Moon. While THEY got to travel on business, I got to travel to
McDonald's, Chuck E. Cheese's and the cereal aisle.
They were pursuing illustrious
careers, making lots of dough, and reaching for the stars, and I was a
stay-at-home mom . . .
. . . pursuing toddlers . . .
. . . making lots of Play-Dough
sculptures . . .
. . . and reaching for long-lost toys
'wayyyyyy back in the corner under the bed, with all the dust bunnies and candy
wrappers.
What a contrast. As some would say,
what a mistake. What a waste. "What do you DOOOOOO all day?" people asked, after
I quit my newspapering job to stay home with the kids. "Aren't you writing any
more?"
These comments whispered to my soul:
"LOOOOOOSER!"
Yeah, God. Great deal. I'm spending
the best years of my life wiping off milk moustaches and putting Band-aids on
dolly knees. For this, I endured J-School, including (bleah!) Econ 51?
Don't
be a putz.
But God! I want to write! What kind
of a plan is this, sidelining me from the thing I do best?
Whiner.
Well, God, God!
Wait
and see, kiddo. Trust Me.
Still, I felt "less-than,"
incomplete. Yes, the Bible says to put other people first. I was doing that.
But the Bible ALSO says to glorify the Lord with everything you've got. A writer
who isn't writing, except for friends and family, is a slacker, a spiritual
wastrel.
The years flew by. My dreams of
being a dashing foreign correspondent and winning a Pulitzer faded. I enjoyed
motherhood, love our girls deeply, and am beyond proud of how they turned out. I'm
too disorganized and distractible to think I could have held a job during these
years and been a good mother, too; I know my limitations. But between the
carpools and the piano recitals, the soccer games and the constant scaling of
the Ivory Snow-capped Mount Laundry, I stopped hoping to achieve anything
professionally. "This little light of mine" flickered, sputtered, and mostly had
been whuffed out.
Then a few weeks ago, a guy I met
through one of our children's sports teams casually asked me if I would head up
his national magazine. I didn't even hesitate. I grinned, and said, "Sure!"
I got a JOB! (Sha na na na, sha na
na na na!) No interview, no application, no working my way up. Just boom! I'm
in!
I'm the new editor of RFD-TV The Magazine, a bimonthly program
guide for RFD-TV and rural lifestyles magazine. RFD-TV is the TV network that
our friend has built, now reaching 30 million people via satellite and a
growing number of cable TV systems. The magazine has lots of stories about life
in the country, agribusiness, horses, and country music and entertainment. It's
G-rated, God-honoring and pro-America -- right up my alley. And I get to write
most of the content.
A sampling of photos
from the July-August issue of RFD-TV The Magazine.
I can work from home, which is great.
The hubby has been extremely supportive.
The first issue I edited is hot off
the presses. I'm loving it . . . invigorated . . . reborn.
Now I look back over those 20-plus
years in "the desert," professionally, and laugh. God fixed it so that I could
concentrate on rearing our family. Meanwhile, He was teaching me how to be
older and wiser and worthy of my dream job. Now He has given it to me, and I
can go at it with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.
I wish all mothers could hear His
message:
You
can have it all, kiddo. All in good time -- My way. Tend the children first.
And then . . .
I
will let that little light of yours shine.
Let
it shine, all the time, let it shine! †
